Monday, January 25, 2010


I am asking myself, "Why"?

Why have I had so many baaaaaaaaaad first dates??? Why am I attracting the boring nutjobs?

Some people might start thinking it's ME, not THEM. Not me though. I totally think it's them. I am fun! I'm a whole-heckuva-lotta-fun!!! It's true. Really.

So, I had a date yesterday. I "met" him on about 5 months ago. Shortly after we introduced ourselves online I started dating Scott. Scott and I dated for about 4 months and all seemed well, but that crashed and burned on Christmas day when I broke up with him. It is a crazy tale about a man who over-promises and under-delivers (also known as LYING) that ends with him thinking a Snuggie is a "funny" gift to give his girlfriend on their first Christmas together. Just a Snuggie...nothing else. Not funny.

While I was dating Scott I would periodically hear from Dean. A friendly text or email every now and then. A couple of weeks ago he texted me to see how things were going . I told him that Scott and I had broken up. He was all over that like white on rice. The texting increased and the flirtiness ensued. Dean wanted to meet me YESTERDAY. I told him that the whole debacle with Scott had left me feeling discouraged with dating and that I really didn't think it was fair to him for us to meet right now. He wasn't hearing any of it. He said, "Look...we've been friends all along. We'll still be friends but I want to meet you!" Ok.

I live in a ski town and I have full custody of my 3 children. Dean wants to come up and ski with me and he wants to stay the night. Ummmm.....let me think about that. Uh...NO. Really?! Let's just start with the basic reason why that would be a big fat NO. He KNOWS I have my kids full time. Besides that...I don't knowwwwwwwwwww him and he wants to stay at my house?? Jeez. There are so many reasons why that wasn't gonna happen.

Plan B was for him to come up on Sunday and we would go to brunch or lunch. Much better.

He drove up to my little mountain town and we went to one of my fave little local restaurants. A nice date spot. Immediately I am noticing that he isn't opening doors for me or even trying to. I am not OLD but I am somewhat old-fashioned. And, I am a southern girl through and through. I also notice that he seems less than thrilled to meet me. He seemed kind of Eeyore-ish and I hadn't seen that in our texting. I had showered and primped, I was wearing a cute outfit, I was smelling good and I really do look like my online what the heck?

Throughout lunch I carried the conversation. Whenever he did contribute it was about like Charlie Brown's teacher....wahwahwahwah. The only time I laughed was when I cracked mySELF up. Y'all I am EASILY ENTERTAINED and he didn't even come CLOSE to entertaining me. The only time he did entertain me was when I started asking him about his tattoo. During our communication prior to our for real meeting, he had told me about this tattoo. I thought it was about the dumbest tattoo idea I'd ever heard of. So when I was asking him to tell me all about his ridiculous tattoo he had no idea that I was laughing on the inside. I know, not the nicest thing to do. But really, it was either get him talking about the silly tattoo or check his pulse to see if he was still alive.

The check comes and he puts down enough cash for his part of the tab and about 1/2 the tip. Ummmmm. Uhhhhhh. Ohhhh-k. I pulled out some cash and covered the rest of the tab and made sure the waiter got a good tip. The whole time thinking how much more fun I would've had if I had taken myself to lunch and worked on a crossword puzzle.

As we were leaving the restaurant I opened the door for myself (again) and I couldn't say good-bye fast enough. Of course another trait I seem to find in guys is their complete obliviousness to body language and chemistry (or lack of). Dean seems to think that it would be quite appropriate to get some sugar after letting me open doors for myself, entertain myself and buy my own damn self lunch. Not now, not ever.