Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I thought I was on hiatus....

Ok, so even though I went out with Dean I considered myself to be on hiatus from dating. Yeah well, so much for that. A couple weeks ago I received an email from another previously viewed online fella. Y'all I'm not even ON any of the dating sites currently. The fellas are coming out of the woodwork.....gahhhh.

Let's call this one "Will". Yeah, I'm totally giving them aliases because I want to protect the not-so-innocent for some reason. All I need is one of these yahoos throwing a "defamation of character" suit on me. And for the record (Your Honor), I don't think ALL of them are yahoos and I'm very hopeful that one day I'll find one who is a complete anti-yahoo.

Alrighty, back to Will. Here's why I was/am intrigued...he's from Tennessee and I luuuuuv me a southern fella; he's a little younger than me (he's 39 & I'll be 43 verrrry soon); he's about to retire from the military (20 year career) so he's gonna have some free time to dote on me (hehe); he has hair (I like hair but we'll discuss HIS hair later); he's tall enough (6'...i like tall. Hmmm....ok that's enough for now. Now, lemme just say that these are preferences for me....not must haves. I'm sure there are plenty of short, bald fellas out there that aren't angry that they quit growing or lost their hair but I just ain't got the energy to weed through 'em.

Now y'all know that I live in a ski town. I'm not that far from a major city though. I thought it was just good thinking when I started the online dating to "cast my net" a little farther by looking in the metro area. What I've come to realize is that while it makes sense for ME because I'm swimming in a shallow (and somewhat murky) little pond the fellas in the big metro pond are the rejects that everyone has thrown back. You see?? I've never had any luck with the metro area and I don't even KNOW how many times I've heard "you live so farrrrrrr awaaaayyyyy". Um, yeah no farther than my profile says you goob.

The point to all this geography is that Will does not live in my nearby metropolis....he lives in another state. Yep. It's about a 3 hour drive from him to me. That would be a 3 hour drive that I have no intention of making. Now sweet Will has already made it very clear that he is willing to do the brunt of the driving because it's just easier for him and his schedule. (He works 4 days and is off 5. Or something fabulous like that). Plus he appreciates the fact that I have my kids full-time and I work a lot.

So we've seen each others photos and I feel confident that I will recognize him. He is telling me how very excited he is to meet me and how he's a little nervous. He's asked me if I'm nervous and I honestly tell him "No". This is not my first rodeo y'all. Sweet Will is new to the online dating. He still has high hopes. Bless his heart. j/k....hehe

We meet at my fave Happy Hour spot where the apps and martinis are 2 for 1. (Yay!!) Indeed he does look like his pictures. I forgot to mention that while yes, he is younger than me, I believe he looks older. (Even in the photos). Not MUCH older, but older. Just say'n. We've talked on the phone at length and we've texted quite a bit. Since my last date was such a dud I was reminded of the importance of the "phone audition". Will had passed the audition. He has a pleasant southern accent and he's not afraid to laugh....a good thing. In person he seemed a tad bit nervous but he wasn't sweating bullets (unappealing). He had a beer and I dove right into a martini. :-D

He was hungry and I was concerned about downing the delicious martini too fast and without ample food in my belly so we ordered some dinner. He was very up front with the bartender to make sure we were on one tab. (Not in an obnoxious way though). During dinner (we sat at the bar the whole time) I exchanged a little banter (I love that word!!!) with the bartender....a cute, young local fave of mine. Will seemed to be entertained by me and I was not bored but I wasn't really charmed either. He was VERY gentleman-ly, opening doors, picking up the tab, etc etc but I just wasn't feeling it. I wasn't entirely NOT feeling it though. Weird. I've had dates where I've looked across the table and said to myself "I will never be kissing him". It wasn't like that with Will. I think part of the problem is his hair. (Here we go with the hair). Since he's in the military, he has a total Gomer Pyle 'do. Ugh. I hate it. Haaaaaaaaaaate it. I wish he was wearing a hat. I'm not good at visualizing something different.

So we walk around town and then we go get coffee (his idea). He's being sweet and nice and offering his arm to me because the sidewalks were especially icy and slippery and I had on my cute boots instead of my functional boots cuz it was date night and all. We like a lot of the same music....went to a lot of the same concerts back in the day so that's pretty funny. He has a couple of tattoos and they're not entirely lame. He showed me one of them and it was pretty cool. The other one is the big orange "T" for Tennessee. I don't "get" that but whatever. The one I saw has skulls and stuff...pretty cool. Oh! I bet y'all are wondering where that tattoo is, aren't you???? Yeah well idk if I'll tell you. lol and j/k It's on his arm. He rolled his sleeve up and showed me because the tatts were a segment of the phone audition. hehe

Ok, let's wrap this date up. I walk him back to his big ass yellow truck. Jeez louise y'all that thing is ugly. I asked him if he was pleased with his color choice and he did admit that he wasn't really. We stood in the cold chatting for a few minutes and I was ready to walk home and get my ass in bed. (He asked about getting me home but I declined that offer). So we're chattin and freezin and I say "gotta go....." and I lean in and give him a nice little kiss on the lips. That's it....a quick kiss....and I was off.

He was driving back home. Can you believe?? He drove six hours (roundtrip) to take me to dinner and coffee?!?! I told him to text me when he got home even though I would be asleep. He said of course he would and asked me to text him when I was home safely too. I did exactly that. He didn't respond and that's a-ok because I knew he was driving. The next morning I woke up to a love-fest of texts. Here ya go:

Hey, did I just say that? I am home now...easy drive. Alex, I had a blast and thank you for everything. I wish the night could've lasted a lot longer and I could have time I will and I will get there much earlier...I don't want to make this too long so I am going to end by saying this...i simply love your personality and how warm you are..i was captivated and it doesn't matter if it's a 3 hour drive or 3000 miles I would drive it to see you. Sleep well, good night...i will talk with you tomorrow. :-)

Wow. Really sweet and all but a liiiiittttle overwhelming. I forgot to mention the fact that he said several times while we were walking around town, "I could live here". HUH?? WHAT???? Yikes. He's talking about when he retires from the military that he could live MY town. He retires March 31st. OMG....slow down big fella. I'm the one sweating bullets now.

He has a lot of good qualities and I bet he would be reallllllllly sweet to me.....but.........I just don't feel it. That magical, mystical "it". Whatever "it" is. I'm not feeling it. Should I give him a little time? Maybe I just need to hang out with him some more. ??? I'm afraid if I do that though then he's gonna reallllllly wanna move forward, and FAST. **sigh**

Monday, January 25, 2010


I am asking myself, "Why"?

Why have I had so many baaaaaaaaaad first dates??? Why am I attracting the boring nutjobs?

Some people might start thinking it's ME, not THEM. Not me though. I totally think it's them. I am fun! I'm a whole-heckuva-lotta-fun!!! It's true. Really.

So, I had a date yesterday. I "met" him on about 5 months ago. Shortly after we introduced ourselves online I started dating Scott. Scott and I dated for about 4 months and all seemed well, but that crashed and burned on Christmas day when I broke up with him. It is a crazy tale about a man who over-promises and under-delivers (also known as LYING) that ends with him thinking a Snuggie is a "funny" gift to give his girlfriend on their first Christmas together. Just a Snuggie...nothing else. Not funny.

While I was dating Scott I would periodically hear from Dean. A friendly text or email every now and then. A couple of weeks ago he texted me to see how things were going . I told him that Scott and I had broken up. He was all over that like white on rice. The texting increased and the flirtiness ensued. Dean wanted to meet me YESTERDAY. I told him that the whole debacle with Scott had left me feeling discouraged with dating and that I really didn't think it was fair to him for us to meet right now. He wasn't hearing any of it. He said, "Look...we've been friends all along. We'll still be friends but I want to meet you!" Ok.

I live in a ski town and I have full custody of my 3 children. Dean wants to come up and ski with me and he wants to stay the night. Ummmm.....let me think about that. Uh...NO. Really?! Let's just start with the basic reason why that would be a big fat NO. He KNOWS I have my kids full time. Besides that...I don't knowwwwwwwwwww him and he wants to stay at my house?? Jeez. There are so many reasons why that wasn't gonna happen.

Plan B was for him to come up on Sunday and we would go to brunch or lunch. Much better.

He drove up to my little mountain town and we went to one of my fave little local restaurants. A nice date spot. Immediately I am noticing that he isn't opening doors for me or even trying to. I am not OLD but I am somewhat old-fashioned. And, I am a southern girl through and through. I also notice that he seems less than thrilled to meet me. He seemed kind of Eeyore-ish and I hadn't seen that in our texting. I had showered and primped, I was wearing a cute outfit, I was smelling good and I really do look like my online what the heck?

Throughout lunch I carried the conversation. Whenever he did contribute it was about like Charlie Brown's teacher....wahwahwahwah. The only time I laughed was when I cracked mySELF up. Y'all I am EASILY ENTERTAINED and he didn't even come CLOSE to entertaining me. The only time he did entertain me was when I started asking him about his tattoo. During our communication prior to our for real meeting, he had told me about this tattoo. I thought it was about the dumbest tattoo idea I'd ever heard of. So when I was asking him to tell me all about his ridiculous tattoo he had no idea that I was laughing on the inside. I know, not the nicest thing to do. But really, it was either get him talking about the silly tattoo or check his pulse to see if he was still alive.

The check comes and he puts down enough cash for his part of the tab and about 1/2 the tip. Ummmmm. Uhhhhhh. Ohhhh-k. I pulled out some cash and covered the rest of the tab and made sure the waiter got a good tip. The whole time thinking how much more fun I would've had if I had taken myself to lunch and worked on a crossword puzzle.

As we were leaving the restaurant I opened the door for myself (again) and I couldn't say good-bye fast enough. Of course another trait I seem to find in guys is their complete obliviousness to body language and chemistry (or lack of). Dean seems to think that it would be quite appropriate to get some sugar after letting me open doors for myself, entertain myself and buy my own damn self lunch. Not now, not ever.