Monday, January 25, 2010


I am asking myself, "Why"?

Why have I had so many baaaaaaaaaad first dates??? Why am I attracting the boring nutjobs?

Some people might start thinking it's ME, not THEM. Not me though. I totally think it's them. I am fun! I'm a whole-heckuva-lotta-fun!!! It's true. Really.

So, I had a date yesterday. I "met" him on about 5 months ago. Shortly after we introduced ourselves online I started dating Scott. Scott and I dated for about 4 months and all seemed well, but that crashed and burned on Christmas day when I broke up with him. It is a crazy tale about a man who over-promises and under-delivers (also known as LYING) that ends with him thinking a Snuggie is a "funny" gift to give his girlfriend on their first Christmas together. Just a Snuggie...nothing else. Not funny.

While I was dating Scott I would periodically hear from Dean. A friendly text or email every now and then. A couple of weeks ago he texted me to see how things were going . I told him that Scott and I had broken up. He was all over that like white on rice. The texting increased and the flirtiness ensued. Dean wanted to meet me YESTERDAY. I told him that the whole debacle with Scott had left me feeling discouraged with dating and that I really didn't think it was fair to him for us to meet right now. He wasn't hearing any of it. He said, "Look...we've been friends all along. We'll still be friends but I want to meet you!" Ok.

I live in a ski town and I have full custody of my 3 children. Dean wants to come up and ski with me and he wants to stay the night. Ummmm.....let me think about that. Uh...NO. Really?! Let's just start with the basic reason why that would be a big fat NO. He KNOWS I have my kids full time. Besides that...I don't knowwwwwwwwwww him and he wants to stay at my house?? Jeez. There are so many reasons why that wasn't gonna happen.

Plan B was for him to come up on Sunday and we would go to brunch or lunch. Much better.

He drove up to my little mountain town and we went to one of my fave little local restaurants. A nice date spot. Immediately I am noticing that he isn't opening doors for me or even trying to. I am not OLD but I am somewhat old-fashioned. And, I am a southern girl through and through. I also notice that he seems less than thrilled to meet me. He seemed kind of Eeyore-ish and I hadn't seen that in our texting. I had showered and primped, I was wearing a cute outfit, I was smelling good and I really do look like my online what the heck?

Throughout lunch I carried the conversation. Whenever he did contribute it was about like Charlie Brown's teacher....wahwahwahwah. The only time I laughed was when I cracked mySELF up. Y'all I am EASILY ENTERTAINED and he didn't even come CLOSE to entertaining me. The only time he did entertain me was when I started asking him about his tattoo. During our communication prior to our for real meeting, he had told me about this tattoo. I thought it was about the dumbest tattoo idea I'd ever heard of. So when I was asking him to tell me all about his ridiculous tattoo he had no idea that I was laughing on the inside. I know, not the nicest thing to do. But really, it was either get him talking about the silly tattoo or check his pulse to see if he was still alive.

The check comes and he puts down enough cash for his part of the tab and about 1/2 the tip. Ummmmm. Uhhhhhh. Ohhhh-k. I pulled out some cash and covered the rest of the tab and made sure the waiter got a good tip. The whole time thinking how much more fun I would've had if I had taken myself to lunch and worked on a crossword puzzle.

As we were leaving the restaurant I opened the door for myself (again) and I couldn't say good-bye fast enough. Of course another trait I seem to find in guys is their complete obliviousness to body language and chemistry (or lack of). Dean seems to think that it would be quite appropriate to get some sugar after letting me open doors for myself, entertain myself and buy my own damn self lunch. Not now, not ever.


  1. While I don't know if it is applicable in this case, it brings to mind an ages-old dilemma that I've observed in myself and most women I know. Very simply, we find that the guys to whom we are most attracted turn out not to have long-term potential. The guys with said potential, we generally find unattractive.

    Sounds like he didn't view this as a date, but as a chance to meet an online friend in person. Too bad for him because there definitely won't be a second date, if that's what that was. The question is, would you still want to be friends with him? I really wish I had never married my ex, even though we are great together as long as we don't have to live under the same roof :-). He was a good friend before I married him and now he is my best friend. Yeah, I know that most folks think it is weird, but the friendship works way better than the marriage ever did. He is a great catch (STILL), just not the one for me!

  2. I hate that this shows my gmail account that is my real name, delete this if you need to. If anyone else figures that out, please post it! I think I need a more anonymous gmail account, so I'll have to set up a fake yahoo account and send myself a gmail invite. UUUUGH, but you're so worth it!

  3. OMG! What a nightmare! EW and EW some more to the kiss after what he thought was a good date. I didnt know that you broke up with the other guy. This is the one you showed me pics of we talked about? I think as we get older we get more selective and thats not a bad thing. Why settle for less that what you want? What would be the point of that, especially when you have already BEEN THERE DONE THAT! ;) What a cheapass, going dutch, and he was wanting to spend the night??? EW and EW again. Glad that was over and done with for you! This is why if I didn't have Ian, I am pretty sure I would just be alone, cause the older I get the more I see how flawed the male species is, excluding Ian, of course.


  5. BB ~ I am still working out the kinks on this. Thanks for joining me. I did spiffy up the page tonight.....hope y'all enjoy.

    Guess who the sassy ass is who thinks it's funny to call me Lexie??? lol

  6. OMG, my piglover, I am in tears!!! So funny, because I am very close to you and we have laughed our asses off at these dumb ass men!! xoxo

  7. Lexie!
    Nice new decorating going on here.. Check out the label for shabby blog or whatever it is- its over the TITLE of your blog.....

  8. Is this the online version of the "VIEW"?
    Where's Whoopee??
    Do they have wheelchairs with ski's attached?
    I'll buy the food if you push me around for the grand tour...Besides-I have a friend named Pugsley that does crosswords too (kinda slow though)
    B.B.--yes,I agree with the weird statement-I would say it is more odd though.
    I think Dean is just a little thrifty and a self centered Dutchboy....
    Will you draw on me if I supply the marker-tattoo shoogahh
    funny stuff--I gotta go put my housecoat on backwards and "snuggie" with babies-momma,jh

  9. BAHAHAHA!! I didn't know Pugsley was a crossword fan. Glad to see you found me over here.... Stay tuned shooogahhh.

  10. Love having the MAN'S point of few back in the mix.. WHERE YA BEEN JH???


  11. Check his pulse - now that is funny! In the end, though, after you marry them, don't you have to check their pulse? Most men just want someone to cook, clean, and have sex with them anyway. I know I am cynical - 15 year of marriage does that to a woman. At least this one.